Okay.. so recently I haven’t been very happy with my body. Actually it’s not my body, it’s just my arms. I remember this feeling. I had this sour feeling when I was unhappy with my thighs.
Maybe my arms got fatter because I was eating alot more lately. You know with CNY coming up and all. But I just don’t like how they look and feel now. And I don’t really want to train them because if I happen to stop training someday they would turn from muscles to fats and this itself already sound damn scary to me.
Maybe after CNY they would look normal again, or maybe my arms are flabbier and bigger than normal now because my period is coming. But whichever the case, I know I’m really upset about it. I don’t know how many times I’ve rant to Simon about this but he just thinks that they look the same. Well you know guys are not observant and they don’t really care about this kind of thing.
I also realised how responsive my arms are to running. It is a good and bad thing and I’m not sure if I enjoy it.
FYI my arms used to be really slim last time. Especially before I had liposuction done on my thighs. Last time when I eat alot, my jeans would become tighter and my inner thighs will brush against each other. Now? If I eat alot, those fats go to my arms instead.
Rant aside, today I decided to do this tag. Actually I did the tag a few weeks ago, but I was finding time to write this post. Someone tagged me to do this a few years ago but I didn’t do it until now. I thought it would be good to do this to remind myself that there are still things i liked about my body and I shouldn’t focus on negative things.
But talk is easy, if you are a woman like me you would understand how I feel.
If you think you want to hear more you can watch the video because usually I talk more in videos then in writing.
I like to start with good things first so I shall start with the good points first.
I really like my collarbones. I am quite lucky that they are quite prominent. Prominent collarbones give the illusion that I am slimmer. I love off shoulder pieces because it can draw attention to my collarbones, I mean what else is there to show since I’m quite small chested right? lol.
I like my waist. Because they are relatively small and flat. Alot of people thought I would have excess skin on my stomach because of my weight loss but I don’t. I have stretch marks though, but only on the hip area. My mother has a small waist too so maybe I got her genes.
Lastly, the length of my arms. I have no explanation for this but I like how they look with long sleeves and bell sleeves.
Overall I am quite happy with my upper body, other than having moles almost everywhere, I am generally happy with them.
And let’s move on to things I dislike.
I have alot to say but I’m just going to narrow down into 3.
I hate the spider veins on my legs. They are so annoying! And because my skin is rather fair, these veins are so obvious! I don’t think I can embrace them yet. If you have these veins and have already or are looking for treatments then email me at dreylim1@gmail.com or talk to me at @claireaudreylim – instagram I really need some help!
My teeth. I’ve tried whitening kit but it makes me bleed. The beautiful teeth whitening kit actually works but I bleed after almost a week of using and I gave up. (if you want to talk to me about it, I welcome you too!)
Toothpaste works but not to the extent that my teeth will become really white, you know what I mean? And I got really sensitive teeth too. zzz
I also thought of trying teeth whitening procedures but I still want my coffee and tea. And I also thought of veneers but they are so freaking expensive. oh well.
The next would be my stomach again. As much as I like how my stomach looks, there is this weird line on my stomach that I can never remove. You can watch my video to see how I explain it because it’s very difficult to type it out. I guess the line comes from excessive hulahooping? Anyway I am usually with clothes on, so I guess it is really not a big issue unless I wanna go be bikini model la.
Actually I am generally quite okay with my body, only during times like now that I would feel really upset and emotional. I also think that I have reached that stage where these type of things don’t matter as much anymore.
I guess I have become so much better over the years. I don’t get depressed over my body anymore. I used to cry over my body and my legs but as I got older, I’ve learn that there are more important things that require my attention and time.
But of course there are times when I still feel sad and I think it is pretty normal. I give myself time to heal when I feel sad and I don’t force myself to be happy when I’m obviously not.
I think it is important to share with someone when you are sad too. Just like what I do when I am. Every time I feel fat or down I will rant it on the blog or to someone. It helps a lot because I get to say out everything that I have been keeping inside my head and mind.
I don’t usually talk to my friends about my body because they all think I’m slim enough. It’s hard for them to understand because they are not me and they don’t know what I’ve went through.
So I really feel much better today after typing everything out, I can focus on what I should do next. And really thank you for your time in reading this and thank you for always sharing your problems with me too. At least I know I’m not alone.
@claireaudreylim
dreylim1@gmail.com
